All men die. But first, we'll live.



Hi I'm Ems and I stare at photoshop all day long but when I'm not doing that I hang around on here reblogging gifs of those pretty people from that thing I like.

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odinsblog:

Anyone who is actually blaming Janay Rice for staying with her abuser is engaging in some degree of victim blaming and does not have a good working understanding of abuser dynamics, battered woman syndrome, or Stockholm Syndrome —and right now, should she decide to leave, is an incredibly dangerous time for Mrs. Rice, even if she doesn’t realize it: the most dangerous time in the life of a battered woman is when she attempts to leave her abuser. Threatened by the loss of control, the batterer is likely to become even more violent and may even try to kill her. And please do not make the mistake of thinking that the danger is somehow minimized just because the abuser is famous and wealthy

And while it might not “make sense” to a lot of people, abusers are often world class manipulators and there are actually several very understandable reasons an abused woman might choose to remain with her abuser:

LOVE/HOPE: He is not always brutal…She hopes he will change, and the beatings will stop…An abused partner still loves the abuser even though he hits her

FEAR : She believes his threats to beat or kill her, the children, her family if she leaves him…He’s done it before, she fears he will do it again

SOCIETAL PRESSURE: Society has conditioned women to believe their primary duty is to keep the family together no matter what…She would be admitting failure…She may have been successful in other areas of her life and believes that if she works hard enough she can also have a successful relationship or marriage

LACK OF SUPPORT: Family members are threatened physically… After repeated attempts to help, family may distance themselves from the victim…Friends don’t want to get involved…Isolation from family makes it difficult

RELIGION: Divorce is not acceptable…Vow was to love, honor, and obey

EMBARASSMENT, SHAME, GUILT: She doesn’t want her family to find out…If her family likes him, they may not believe her or they might blame her…If she is the wife of a prominent citizen she may worry about how the publicity will effect his reputation, career, and whether people will believe her

FEELS RESPONSIBLE: She doesn’t know anyone else being beaten, so she must be doing something wrong…She believes what her abusive partner says that somehow it’s all her “fault”, therefore he had to beat her

SURVIVAL IS ALL SHE THINKS ABOUT: All her energy and thoughts are focused on surviving…Formulating a plan to leave is overwhelming…Trauma is similar to that of a prisoner of war who is reduced to the level of mere existence and survival

HAS NO PLACE TO GO: She may not know about shelters or lack transportation…She has worn out her welcome at mom’s, sister’s, etc.

ECONOMIC DEPENDENCE: Many batterers have strict control over the purse strings…Husband convinces her that she will not receive any child support if she “abandons” the family…Over 50% of victims have no marketable skills…Feels she can endure beatings so that children have more financial advantages

Personally, I think we should support an abused woman who hasn’t left her abuser in exactly the same way we support a drug user who hasn’t stopped using, or a depressed person who won’t just hurry up and “feel better” —we don’t agree with, understand or condone the choices of people engaging in various forms of destructive self-harm, but we offer them our support, be there for them, and never blame them  

Knowing these reasons is not “agreeing” with someone staying in an abusive relationship, but it does allow us to better support and understand abuse victims. And iMho, passing judgement on her, the victim, just takes far too much of the onus off of her abuser. #whyistayed is an important discussion, but an equally important question, if not more important, is #whydoesheabuse?

And, ANY domestic abuse is a criminal act. Period. It is wrong, and needs to be condemned and stopped, but while we can acknowledge that yes, men and same sex partners are also the victims of intimate partner violence—and again, they are no less important—it is very important I think, to keep in perspective who the overwhelming majority of abusers are and avoid any disingenuous “both sides” false equivalencies:

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Important

This post goes so hard and y’all need to understand this!

I was discussing this with one of my fellow survivors. She barely made it out alive. I moved in a last ditch effort, but I ended up lucky as it ended up my situation was mostly gas lighting (mental manipulation) and empty threats (when it came to distance). My friend and I were lucky. LUCKY.

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intoasylum:

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marvel (part 2) | text posts

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last-snowfall:

potofsoup:

archeralli:

a weak and tortured bucky making sure steve gets to safety first

It’s because Bucky has a habit of letting Steve go first.

——-

1) Always let Steve go first up the stairs, so that you can keep an eye on him.  It’s easier to count Steve’s breaths and notice when Steve’s heart does that thing that makes him stop and shake.  Much easier to stop and pretend to tie your shoes while you wait, worried, than to realize 2 flights too late that Steve’s no longer with you. 

Later: Your limbs are sore and numb from being strapped to a table for 2 days and you’re pretty sure you haven’t eaten and the entire base might be exploding, but when Steve says “let’s go up,” you tell him to go first.

———-

2) Steve’s walk was mostly normal, though he swung his hips in a certain way to compensate for his scoliosis, and that put a special cadence to his stride that you unconsciously match. Even without Steve around you would twist your hip back before swinging your leg forward.  Twist, swing, twist, swing.

Later: Steve is leading the way through the forest, and you’re finally used to his height and broad shoulders and that dumb shield, but something still feels wrong.  Somehow your pace doesn’t quite match, and you can’t figure out why.

———-

3) Colors don’t work the same with Steve, so always describe unfamiliar objects by their shape and relative location, like that square window past the third door on the left, or the man wearing that unseasonably long coat standing in the corner by the garbage can.

Later: The boys are singing in the other room and you’re at the bar with Steve, trying very hard to get drunk because of course you’ll follow Steve into whatever but that doesn’t mean you have to do it sober.  “Steve,” you whisper, “Check out that lady by the door, next to that short thin guy who has his shirt open.”  Steve looks over.  “The one in the red dress?  That’s Miss Carter.”  You decide you need another drink.

———-

4) When walking down a narrow dark alleyway always stay on the right, because Steve’s bad ear makes the right side feel blind to him (though damn if Steve’d ever admit that).  On broad open streets, switch to Steve’s left side, so that Steve could hear you better through the noise.

Later: Dum-Dum gives you a weird look as you line up to charge into a Hydra base.  “Why won’t you take the left flank for a change?”  You start explaining Steve’s bad ear before you remember that he’s not that Steve any more, and that Captain America doesn’t have a bad ear.

———-

5) Stuff in your left pockets are for Steve: the asthma cigarettes that Steve could never afford, a dime for that popcorn that Steve likes, tickets for whatever shindig you’re trying to drag Steve along to. Sometimes you put things there for Steve and totally forget about it, like extra paper and a spare pencil in case Steve wants to doodle.  The left side always belongs to Steve.

Later: Steve is awfully quiet by the campfire.  You sit down by his good ear and reach into your left pocket.  “Hey,” you say, pulling out a news clipping about the war front that featured a lovely photo of Miss Carter.  “You read this yet?  They think Morita’s a Japanese defector, but the section on Dernier is priceless.”

———————-

Still later:

Report on the Winter Soldier reset procedures

After the latest test run, only the following anomalies remain:

A) The asset tends to hug the right walls and not the left, and hesitates for 30 microseconds before climbing stairs.  However, he does not hesitate when scaling walls or ladders.

B) When walking unopposed the asset has a characteristic and identifiable stride, which is dropped when he is making a covered approach.  

C) The asset communicates via relative locations, often omitting crucial color information.  However, he can be commanded to describe the colors of any object in impressive detail.

D) When dressing himself, the asset keeps his knives exclusively on his right side, and his left pockets are underutilized.  This may be an effect of continued unfamiliarity with the new left arm.

After extensive field testing, we have determined that these anomalies do not impede the asset from completing his missions, and declare the reset process complete.

—————————

[basically the textual partner to the colorblindness comic]

[The rest of my Captain America stuff]

[Congrats to author for writing one of the rare-comme-merde-du-pâpe 2ndpers fics I can actually read!]

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milkattack:

when u think yr drawing looks great but then u flip the canvas

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I think one of my favourite themes in Buffy is that when artists go bad

They go really really bad.

whorishgreen:

I’ve never been more emotional about any social media post in my entire life

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